Idiot Magi Billy Magica
by equach
Summary: This is what you get when Billy bring a magical girl to a school dance. I do not own any of this and the following belongs to their respective owners.
1. Chapter 1

Idiot Magi Billy Magica

The school dance is coming tonight and Billy has no girl to go out with. After school during the day of the dance, Billy and Irwin are walking home to school. Irwin decides to brag to Billy that he will get Mandy to go with him.

"Hey Billy. Guess who I'm taking to the dance.", said Irwin.

"Grim.", said Billy.

"No."

"Yogi Bear"

"No."

"Scooby Doo"

"No!", said Irwin with some anger in it.

"Your mom."

"ITS MANDY, YO! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ABOUT MY MOTHER!"

"I thought we're playing a game.", said Billy.

"Whatever yo.", said Irwin as he approached to Mandy's house.

"Mandy! Would you like to go to the dance with me?!", shouted Irwin only to have a piano fall onto him.

"I take that as a yes!", said Irwin.

"[Sigh] I wish I could have a girl.", said Billy, "Oh wait, I remember something!"

But then he remembers that he has Grim. He had a light bulb appearing on his head and ate it. The boy than ran home as fast he could. Grim on the other hand is watching Card captor Sakura because he loves that show.

"Ho-eh!", cried Sakura before she was eaten gruesomely by a giant abomination of hell.

That never happened in the real show, but its Billy and Mandy. All of this is a parody and stuff as morbid as this always happen in the show.

"Hah ha ha ha. I love this show.", said Grim, "Its so cute and always makes me happy."

"GRIM!", cried Billy.

"What is it Billy?", said Grim in a more depressing tone.

"I need a girl for the school dance."

"And why should I help you get a girl? Using me scythe for your personal gain always cause more trouble."

"Name me one time that...", said Billy.

"Wiggy Jiggy Jed.", interrupted Grim.

"How about..."

"The time I gave you an A."

"Okay, I get it. But I just want a girl for one night."

"No."

"Very well. I just got a call from Sakura-chan.", said Billy.

"Its not going to work Billy. I know she's just an anime character.", said Grim.

"Darn it. I was also trying to get you into the live presentation of the remake of the series."

"Really? No, you must be lying."

"I have the ticket for it right here."

"Give me!"

Billy threw the ticket as far as he can and Grim ran after it to retrieve it. Billy used this chance to grab Grim's scythe to get himself a girl for the school dance. He rips up a portal and appear a girl of Billy's dreams.

Billy drooled and snot slowly came out of his nose. The girl was clearly older and taller than him. She has a long black hair with violet eyes. She wore a uniform with a purple neckerchief, a white and purple dress, and long black stockings. She had an emotionless expression and she glared at Billy.

"You're pretty.", said Billy with an idiotic tone and he giggled.

"Billy! These are tickets to your old DethKlok concert!", cried Grim.

He grabbed his scythe back and looked at the girl that Billy summoned. His jaw then dropped literally. He got it back together and was surprised that the girl was not surpried at all.

"What is the meaning of this?", asked the girl.

"I need you to come with me in the school dance.", said Billy.

"That's it."

"Yeah."

"You interrupted me while I was witch hunting for something so trivial."

"Yes."

"Don't even try to escape because its pointless when Billy is around. He will find you.", said Grim.

"I'm Billy, what's your name miss?", asked Billy.

"Homura. Akemi Homura.", said Homura, "Or is it Homura Akemi since in America the first name goes first. I'm guessing I'm in America."

"Are you Chinese? You sound really Chinese.", asked Billy.

"I'm Japanese thank you very much.", replied Homura.

"Do you eat Chinese food everyday?", asked Billy.

"For the last time, I'm not Chinese.", said Homura with some anger in her voice.

"Its quite impressive that you could speak English even though you live in Japan.", said Grim.

"Its part of the curriculum in my school.", replied Homura.

"Say, that gem of yours. Is it your soul gem?", asked Grim.

"How did you know?", asked Homura.

"I am the Grim Reaper. I know stuff about souls and the super natural. Magical girls are no exception even though it has some galactic origins. My apologies for asking you so much questions. Lately I have found magical girls to be really interesting.", said Grim.

"I see.", said Homura.

"Do you know kung fu like those movies? How is the air in China?", asked Billy.

"Is there a way to shut this idiot up?!", begged Homura.

"Not really.", replied Grim.

"Come on. We need to prepare for tonight.", said Billy as he drags Homura away.

"Remember Billy. Magical girls are girls with magic. They hunt down monsters known as witches and collect what is known as grief seeds from them. One big thing to note is to never get them in a state of despair. Otherwise they will...", said Grim before noticing that the two of them are gone.

"That figures. I already feel bad for Homura.", said Grim, "Time for me to watch some more Card Captor Sakura."

Now time for an idiot montage.

 _Note* I do not hate Homura at all, in fact I love Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I'm just trying to stick with the nature of the Billy and Mandy cartoon._


	2. Chapter 2

Idiot Magi Billy Magica

Chapter 2

Now time for an idiot montage.

As Billy prepares for the dance, he took a hell of a long time picking his nose, ear, and butt. Homura has to stand there looking at such a disgusting sight. The next thing on the list is Billy tries to choose something to wear which bother Homura even more to the point that she wants to get over with it.

"Should I take the strips or the polka dots?", asked Billy.

"Just take the strips!", cried Homura.

"Maybe I should take the polka dots.", said Billy.

"We been through this for what felt like days.", cried Homura.

"Please. I know how to choose what to wear. So strips or polka dots?", asked Billy.

"This is the eleventh time you asked me!", screamed Homura.

Next part is the hair where Billy used a knife to cut his own hair only to slice half of Homura's head. This is typical in Billy and Mandy so she would be fine. She'll just get back to normal in the next scene.

Homura could have used her ability to stop time and all, but something tells her that this idiot or the Grim Reaper will get her somehow. The portal will get her even if she goes back.

She could get someone to replace her, but then again after what she saw its best not to get anyone involved with this. Being with the idiot was a fate worse than death or being a magical girl. The raven haired girl does her best to survive this monstrosity if she is ever to go back home.

"Now its your turn!", sang Billy.

"Me? No I'm fine.", said Homura.

"I insist."

Billy stated with some waxing only to rip Homura's skin off living noting, but bones. Next is when he brushes her hair. He tugged hard and hard until he decapitated Homura. The body proceeds to slap him with Billy just laughing.

Homura then has to wear Mandy's dress which does fit her only to be squished by how tight it is. She then exploded with guts all over.

In the end, Homura is now in Mandy's clothing, wearing her headband and has her hair similar to Mandy. As the two walk out, they encountered Billy's parents.

"My boy is growing up so fast. He finally got himself a girl.", cried Gladys.

"Before you leave Billy, there is something I want you to know. I'm very proud of you for everything you did and its time that we talked about the birds and the bees.", said Harold then he realizes something.

"No, that's for kids. I know that your mature enough to know the adult side of it. You see when you find a girl that you like, you would get this feeling that you want to shove...", said Harold before being interrupted.

"Okay, that enough out of you. Let's get going, we don't want to be late.", said Homura as she drags Billy out.

"I'm gonna miss him.", said Harold.

"That girl sure is pretty.", said Gladys.

"Kind of like how our first dance went. Remember how after the dance we snuck into my bed and...", asked Harold.

"Let's not talk about that now. It was a...[gulp] weird night."

"Right", said Harold,"Want to repeat it?"

Anyways, Billy was riding his tricycle to school while Homura sat in the back. Homura looked at her soul gem and discovered that it really gotten dark. She grabbed some grief seeds that she has and used them to cleanse her soul gem. Still it was pretty dark which was really shocking.

" _And I though Sayaka was stupid_.", thought Homura.

Suddenly a car ran Homura over while Billy just looks at Homura with crippled and her bones popping out of her skin. Homura got better and walked with Billy. Sadly the dogs by the corner were very deadly and chased Billy and Homura.

Homura changed into her magical girl outfit and tries to use her time shield, but the dogs were quicker and attacked her. Not letting her have a chance to use her magic. When Billy stopped running, he sees Homura all tattered and wounded.

They decided to go hitchhiking and found a guy. The problem is that there is only one extra seat inside. Homura volunteered to seat on top of the car to get away from Billy for a moment. Every time they encounter a sign or stoplight, Homura always gets hit in the face by it.

They arrived to the school and already Homura is tired. She then turn back to her casual form which is in Mandy's clothing and struggled to walk with Billy. As Billy enters the doors, Homura got stuck in the gaps because of how slow and injured she is. She was then dragged across the halls.

Billy and Homura got to the auditorium and the music plays. Every kid was dancing with someone, including the nerds. Billy got to Irwin to show him that he got someone.

"Hey Irwin, I got a girl way better than Mandy. Her name is Hanzo Hasashi.", said Billy.

"Its actually Homura Akemi.", said Homura.

"Hunky Dory."

"Homura Akemi"

"Hillbilly"

"Homura"

"Homo sapien."

"What does any of these things my name?"

"Any who, I finally got a girl.", said Billy.

"That cool yo.", said Irwin.

"Hey stupid, get me some punch. The money you gave me better be worth my time.", said Mandy.

Irwin immediately ran to get some punch. Billy just laughs as usual while Homura wants this to end soon. Mandy became curious on how Billy is able to get a girl like Homura at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Idiot Magi Billy Magica

Chapter 3

"Where did you find this girl?", aske Mandy to Billy.

"I used Grim Scythe to summon her.", replied Billy.

"Figures. You're too lazy or man enough to get a real girl yourself. Something tells me that she doesn't even belong here."

"Aw come one Mandy. Hara kiri is having a time of her life."

Homura tries to get fruit punch to get over the pain and agony only to find Mindy mocking her.

"Where did you get your dress? At the loser store.", said Mindy as she mocked Homura.

Homura just frowned and got out her gun and started shooting to scare the brat off. Mindy then ran for her life screaming. Sperg was trying to get punch, but Homura aimed at Sperg with her pistol. The bully walked away as Homura continues to sip her drink.

"Just like Jack Steel.", said Mandy.

"Your just jealous because she's prettier than you.", said Billy.

Mandy just slaps Billy with the boy's neck twisted. The idiot just laughs it off as he went to get some snacks. Homura came and decides its best to talk to Mandy since she is able ot control Billy.

"How do you even control that idiot?", asked Homura.

"Just be merciless with the fool.", said Mandy.

"Maybe I should."

"Only I get to do that."

"Oh."

"You know its rare for me to say this but I seem to have some respect for you. Your not as idiotic or over the top like the others."

"Thanks."

"Hey Hokey Pokey. They ran out of punch so I voulunteered to get some more.", said Billy.

Homura loves the punch offer in the dance so she accepts Billy's offer only to find it horrid. She spits it out and the punch landed on Irwin's face melting it. Homura looks at her tongue and saw it burned and rotten.

"Where did you get this?", asked Homura.

"From the janitor's office. I just mixed a bunch of stuff and also added this thing with a big X.", said Billy.

"You idiot, you know that stuff is dangerous.", said Homura.

"I don't see the problem with this punch thank you.", said Billy.

As he drank, the acidic part of the drink disolves his stomach and pours out of it. The drink continues to melt the floor. Homura was pretty much disgusted with the moron and looks at Mandy. The girl nodded to give Homura the permission to punch Billy.

Homura did and Billy just laughs it off. He nose turned to the back of his head and Billy just readjusts it. This frustrates Homura even more.

"Stop it! Stop laughing! Do you know how annoying you sound when you laugh?", screamed Homura.

"No.", replied Billy.

Homura got out her rocket launcher and plans to end Billy once and for all. She shot, but it ended up shooting at Pud'n. The imapct made Homura fly back, having the disco ball falling onto her head and then the lights too. Homura was basically buried by a bunch of stuff in the celling.

Principal Goodvibes or any teacher should have try to go after Homura for using guns, but they were too busy being on their phones. Thinking that chaperoning the school dance is boring.

Homura under the rubble look at her soul gem and it was completely dark. Homura cursed herself and said, "Ah poopy."

Homura then turns into Homulilly, her witch form. The whole school changed into a surreal mess of a place. Familiars attack the students and teachers alike. Mandy punched and beat up some familiars while Billy does his own thing

Grim came in knowing that this would happen and got to Billy and Mandy. The reaper doesn't seem surprised and looked more annoyed.

"Grim, explain!", said Mandy.

"When magical girls fall deep into despair, their soul gem darkens and they turn into witches.", said Grim.

"I have no idea what your saying, but all I know is that Homura is not your ordinary kid.", said Mandy.

"The best way to beat this thing is with another magical girl and who else to call other than some dead ones.", said Grim.

Grim slices his scythe and appear Mami Tomoe. Back from the dead, but as a ghost. The blond magical girl was surprised about this and saw the witch. She then looks back at Grim and the kids.

Mami spoke some Japanese, but only Grim understand at all so I'm going to tell you how the conversation went. If this was an episode, this would be the part with subtitles.

"You brought me back to fight this witch.", asked Mami.

"Yes. I just want to clean this idiot's mess as quickly as possible with the help of a professional.", said Grim and refers Billy as the idiot that he mentioned.

Mami then charges into action with her muskets and her theme song plays. She got rid of a bunch of familiars and shot Homulilly many times. The witch flinched, but bested Mami at her own game. The ghost of Mami at least felt no pain since she is dead.

Billy decided that there is one thing left to do. The moron got out a guitar and started playing a melody.

"I must do this for my girlfriend.", said Billy.

The idiot then sang a parody of the 'I love you too much' song from the movie the Book of Life.

"I love you too much, to get close to you where we stand.

I love you too much, Grim is my witness and that's my command.

I know that we belong.

Just like that you home with the Chinese dongs.

There's love above love,

It ours cause I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

Homulilly couldn't stand listening to Billy singing and was getting weaker. Mami used this as her advantage to use her ultimate move...

"TRIO FINALE!", cried Mami.

She shot her giant gun at the witch, defeating her. Everything thing was back to normal. Its all thanks to Mami, Billy, and a Tuna fish Sandwich.

"Thank you so much Mami, now back to the underworld with you.", said Grim as he uses his scythe to open a portal.

Mami tries to resist, but the portal was too much for her. All that was left of Homura is a grief seed. Billy picks it up and then gets slapped by Mandy.

"You really did it this time Billy.", said Mandy.

The girl left home and Billy looks at the grief seed. Grim came to the boy and said.

"Hand it over mon. That's a grief seed. Let me reap it before it cause more trouble.", said Grim.

"No! I love Homura a lot. I must now take care of her like she cared for me.", cried Billy.

"I hate to break it to you, but she's already dead and never really cared for you to begin with mon."

"There is only one thing left to do.", said Billy.

The next day, Billy planted the grief seed in his garden and waters it. Grim just looked at him looking really annoyed.

"That's not how it works.", said Grim.

"But you said it was a seed.", said Billy.

"Not that type of seed.", said Grim, "I had it with you. I'm going inside to watch more Card Captor Sakura."

Grim left to watch some more television while Billy was left to lament about Homura's Grief seed. He kept on watering the ground and said.

"Some day, you will grow into the beautiful flower you once were. Some day."

Billy kept on saying some day over and over again as we see clouds soaring towards us. We then cut to the future where Homura did grow back as a human. The raven haired girl saw that she could somehow use magic again despite of not having a soul gem.

Maybe she is one. She was then interrupted by what seems to be a green elephant with small tusks. Homura wondered how long has she been gone and where is she.

"Hi my name is Fred Fredburger. I could spell my name real good.", said the green elephant.

Homura was dumbfounded at the sight of the beast. First a moron with an IQ of -5 and now this. How will things get worse? In the end, Homura and Fred Fredburger went on adventures through this new land known as the Land of Ooo.

 _Adventure time._

 _C'om grab your friends._

 _We'll go to very_

 _distant lands. With_

 _Fred the Thing and_

 _Homura the human,_

 _The fun will never_

 _end, its Adventure_

 _time!_


End file.
